Going From the Walking Dead to a Caged Bird Singing

In 2013, I bought tickets to see Dr. Maya Angelou speak at Augustana University in Sioux Falls. I was extremely excited as I am a big lover of poets and poetry. Also, at this time I was very intrigued and drawn to the deeper meaning behind the title of her autobiography "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" so I was hoping to hear her speak about it and give more insight into its deeper meaning. Little did I know that my curiosity of the deeper meaning behind the title "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" at this time was actually the beginning of what ended up being and still is a grand adventure of discovering what it truly means from my own perspective. I shared some of this adventure at an event in June 2014 called Pecha Kucha which means "chit chat" in Japanese. Here is a link to my recorded presentation titled "I See, Like a Bird, I Sing" if you are interested in hearing it: https://www.pechakucha.org/presentations/i-see-like-a-bird-i-sing  

Needless to say, my heart was filled with joy as I thought about listening to Dr. Maya Angelou speak in person. However, in an unfortunate turn of events, her talk scheduled for Wednesday, October 23^rd, was canceled due to the health issues she was struggling with at that time. I received the unfortunate news just a couple days before her scheduled talk and my heart sank as I had a feeling I might have missed my one and only chance to listen to her powerful voice and messages in person. My feelings were right. Dr. Maya Angelou passed away about 7 months later on May 28, 2014.

The very same week that I would have heard Dr. Maya Angelou speak I had planned to dance as a zombie to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” at the downtown Zombiewalk. The event was held the following Saturday after what would have been her Wednesday talk. Dancing to “Thriller” as a zombie was a powerful long held childhood dream of mine so you would think that I would have been elated to be a part of Zombiewalk, living my dream as the dancing dead. 

This is me as what I like to think of as Zombie Rose (from Titanic). My heart did go on and then I became a zombie.

But for whatever mysterious reasons, my heart was not feeling up for joining other zombies once the big occasion came around. I didn’t feel well on this day but I also felt so much more that is hard to find words for. All I know is that I didn’t have what it took to dance with heart or zombie brains so I ditched out on Zombiewalk. 

 After I decided to not join the dead at Zombiewalk I thought about what to do instead, despite the fact that I didn’t feel the greatest. Once I thought about it for a little while, it became clear that I should go visit my Grandpa Ralph, who was living in an apartment in a retirement village at this time. I hadn’t visited him in a few weeks so I felt an incredible pull to go see him. I am so very grateful to have had this visit with him because this visit turned out to be my most favorite time I spent with him due to the powerful and beautiful memories that were created. To this day, I am still in awe of what all unfolded during this special unplanned visit with my Grandpa Ralph.

As I drove to his apartment I called my brother, Justin, to let him know I was going to visit Grandpa, in case he wanted to stop by. Justin surprised me by saying he was actually on his way downtown to the Zombiewalk dressed as, not a zombie, but a full blown nerd. His idea was to be the “brains” that any zombie would want to eat. Haha! I thought it was a genius idea and great humor!!! Justin told me that he would meet up with me to visit Grandpa Ralph after he did his thing at Zombiewalk.

My brother, Justin, dressed as a nerd for Zombiewalk. I took this picture of him right before we visited our Grandpa Ralph.

Once my Grandpa Ralph took one look at Justin dressed as a nerd he began to chuckle. In fact, he chuckled on and off during our entire visit because of how much Justin both looked and talked like a nerd. Justin did his best "nerd" accent and said various humorous things about his pocket protector and calculations, among other things. I am certain that it was on this day that I saw my Grandpa laugh more than I had ever seen him laugh. It is simply one of the best memories I have to look back upon because of how much laughter was involved. 

I also love to look back on this memory because of a profound story that my Grandpa shared that caught me by total surprise. At one point during our visit my Grandpa grabbed some photos and photo albums and began sharing stories from his childhood and about his mother, Glady. He shared that his mom, being a big lover of nature, used to nurse wounded animals back to health. One such animal she happened to help heal was a bird: a rose-breasted grosbeak. 

I had never heard of this kind of bird until hearing about it from my Grandpa on this day. He shared that when his mom found this bird it had a broken wing so it could not fly. She somehow mended the wing and then kept it in a cage, obviously, so it could heal and then be released back into the wild. My Grandpa said that when the rose-breasted grosbeak was in the cage he loved listening to it because it sang so beautifully. I remember that when he talked about the way this bird sang his face totally lit up and he looked like he was filled with joy. It seemed as if he could still hear this bird singing in his memory and I don't doubt that its song lived on inside of him. He said, "And that bird would SING!!" I smile just by recalling this. It was amazing to hear this story for more than one reason. First of all, I am so grateful I didn't miss my opportunity to hear this story by almost succumbing myself to being a total zombie instead. Also, I am most definitely in awe of it because I just so happened to hear this story the very same week that I would have listened to Dr. Maya Angelou speak at Augustana College had she been well enough to travel. So as synchronicity would have it, my Grandpa Ralph, having no clue about the unfortunate cancellation of Dr. Maya Angelou's talk, shared a story about a caged bird that sang.

Below you will find a picture of the actual bird cage that my Grandma Glady used to house the rose-breasted grosbeak that sang so beautifully. It is now hanging in my Grandma Dorie's house and she enjoys decorating it her own unique ways. I love to look at it and see the deep meaning inherent in it. I hope to someday see a rose-breasted grosbeak in the wild and hear it sing because I just know this will make me light up and make my own "caged bird" sing. 

Do you know why the caged bird sings? I now believe this is one of the most important questions to ponder in life because of the quest it has the power to bring you on, if you are ready and willing to go on the adventure...

"Your heart is in a bird cage singing in your chest. You wanna shut it up but give it a rest. You're gonna die one day."    ~lyrics by Carsie Blanton from her song 'Smoke Alarm"

Click here if you would like to listen to a rose-breasted grosbeak's song